Questions for the crabby lady at the municipal pool

  1. Why are you so crabby?
  2. Is it really so difficult to make change from a 50 Euro bill?
  3. When there is no line for admittance, and you sit there in the booth almost smiling, what are you thinking about?
  4. Are you thinking about bratwurst? Bratwurst would definitely make me smile.
  5. Were you crabby when you were a young girl?
  6. If not, what were you like?
  7. What were you before you were the crabby swimming pool lady who hates to make change?
  8. Do you ever let yourself into the pool late at night after it has closed?
  9. For other people whose profession requires a lot of sitting, do you have any advice for them regarding posture or special sitting equipment?
  10. If we became friends, would you teach me how to swim the butterfly stroke?
  11. When the film Swimming Pool came out, were you incredibly excited?
  12. Does it annoy you when people like me assume that, because you work at a swimming pool, you have a special fondness for anything that has the word “swim” in it? Or the word “pool”? Or the word “ming”?
  13. Do you have a favorite stroke?
  14. Have you ever peed in the pool?
  15. If I brought you a bagel and cream cheese when I come to swim, would that cheer you up?
  16. How about a bratwurst?

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  1. Brown Brilliance

    on April 23, 2009 at 16:44

    Yeah, Scheff… slip her the old bratwurst. I know what you mean (wink, wink). Swimming always makes me hungry… so your crabby belle must be F*CKING STARVING!!! She won’t be so crabby with a big hot weiner in her mouth (you’re such an international misogynist).

  2. Jonathan

    on April 27, 2009 at 12:52

    Wow. You’re officially my most fowl-mouthed friend. It was unofficial before, but now you get a uniform and everything.